I have been sick. Fourteen months and i finally type those four words. Three weeks ago my friend and top-surgeon Seth spent three hours in my sinus cavity. High up, next to my brain he found an infected diseased area. Seth said he took out as much as he could without digging into my brain. Seth said it could take three to four weeks for my symptoms to subside.

My pain is a two-faced demon. The beast stands on the top of my brain. He wears track shoes and holds a turkey baster that drops drops of gasoline on the top of my brain. The burn spreads over and down and i recall dragster drivers diving out of their smoking cars, being burned alive though you cant see the flames. The demon also blows up a baloon inside my head. He uses short-cunning breaths. The pressure mounts. My face feels swoolen. My eyes hurt. Today, my head feels like a canteolpe in a pressure cooker.

I have a work assosiate who has MS. For the last eight years he has been confined to a wheel chari. "Everytime." he says. "Everytime i watch you come into our house, i wish I were you. I wish i could walk."

Jeff's incredible postive outlook doesn't take away the pain. But his strength inspires me. What do i do to myself or my lovely lady if i give up? What if this surgery doesn't fix me. What if the gas-demon remains. Who will I become? Where will I find my resolve?

Until I find out, here i am. Another day complete, another day awaits.

cheers,

ken